Suctionless Suzie Meets Her Match

Picture this: Recent college graduates and newlyweds set off across the country to start a new life. All of their earthly possessions are crammed into their one little car and a suburban. Other than law school and an empty apartment, they had no idea what the future would hold. Not a lot of money, that was fairly certain. The bride had been too busy planning a wedding to find a job [good one]. At least they had wedding gifts and gift cards.

Upon arriving at the empty apartment, the couple quickly realized how few possessions they actually had. No bed, no table, no couch. Their only piece of furniture was a desk. Frantic Craigslist and thrift store shopping commenced. Then, they headed to the store. Three carts later, the groom's eyes start to bulge. He said, "This trip is going to cost a fortune!" The bride and her mother assured him that they were only buying necessities. It's difficult to run a household without a broom, laundry detergent, toilet paper, and so on.

And then they reached the vacuum cleaners. How would they choose? Oh, right. They would pick the cheapest one. For thirty dollars, the deal was done. They never guessed the frustration that decision would cause.

At the checkout, the groom started to sweat as he watched the total rise. He gulped at the final tally, then produced their stack of gift cards. The total disappeared. And he even got gift cards back! "Praise the Lord! We aren't totally broke yet!"

As I'm sure you have realized, I'm the bride in this story. As you may not have guessed, this post is actually supposed to be about vacuum cleaners. Six years later, we have said farewell to our thirty-dollar vacuum cleaner. And good riddance.

Have you ever seen a string on the floor, then proceeded to vacuum over it repeatedly to no avail? Have you ever opened the canister to have dust fly everywhere? Have you ever had your vacuum cleaner overheat before you finish vacuuming your small apartment? I have. I don't recommend it.

I will admit, we never replaced the filter. Who wants to spend more money on a cheap vacuum that never really sucked? At least not in the way it was supposed to.

Anyway, we are no longer the penniless, unemployed newlyweds of six years ago. So, we bought a vacuum. Introducing, Valter the Vacuum:

Suctionless Suzie has found her way to the dumpster. You can see her in the picture, looking forlorn in the corner. Don't feel too bad for her; she only half-heartedly attempted to do her job, so deserved to be sent packing.

If you are curious, Valter is actually a Shark Navigator Lift-Away Professional. We keep going to the closet just to admire him. He's done a great job on the carpet so far, too.

*I enjoy writing about things I like and am not being paid to endorse products. I am, however, an Amazon Affiliate. If you click a link that takes you to Amazon and then purchase something, I receive a small percentage. To my knowledge, you will not have to pay more.