What I Shouldn't Have Worn: Airport Edition

I would consider myself a fairly frequent flier. We live more than twenty hours away from family, so fly several times a year. As a result, I have a pretty good idea about how to make the security hassle go smoothly. Or, so I thought.

On the way to a family wedding, we had a lot of things to remember:

• Bridesmaid and groomsman attire: Check
• Checked bag: Check
• Carry on bags with snacks: Check, Check
• Comfy clothes for the trip: Check
• Flip-flops for easy shoe removal at security: Check

I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being so prepared. I was a pro. Or not. I set off the body scanner. Nope, I knew better than to wear a belt. Nope, I didn't have other metal objects on my person. I could not think of what could set it off. 

My shirt. Apparently, plastic rhinestones block the scanner from seeing what it is supposed to see. I don't even like that shirt, or rhinestones for that matter. Too bad, I had to be patted down anyway. The lady kindly asked if I would like to go to a private room or be patted down in public. Is it just me, or does everyone agree that it is creepier to go to a private room for a pat down? Seriously. 

I said no thanks to the private room. I would rather stay in the open where my lawyer husband can observe, thank you very much. Just as I suspected, they found nothing dangerous and allowed me to go on my slightly-less-merry way.

So, what have we learned from this and other airport experiences? Several things:

1. Never buy clothing adorned with rhinestones. If you must, don't wear it to the airport.
2. Do not put on lotion with glycerin before going to the airport. Apparently, after they pat you down, they also get to test your hands for chemicals. Glycerin from lotion can cause problems. Good to know. 
3. Snack size apple sauce can get you in trouble. The innocent snack I packed in my husband's carry-on caused a small scene. They treated the bag like it had a bomb in it, even asking "Is there anything that could cause me harm if I open this bag?" Um, nope. It's just apple sauce, granola bars, and books. 

I am a rule follower and do not like getting in trouble. Getting stopped at security freaks me out because I feel like I'm in trouble. What if they think I'm trying to do something wrong? What if I HAD put lotion with glycerin on? Maybe they would have taken me to a private room. I don't know, and I don't want to find out.

Have you learned anything from airport security?